Are You A Best Friend To Your Best Friend?

I've often said that friends are so important for someone coping with depression - scroll down to my

blog about how you can't have too many friends :-) - but all too often, when we think about friends, we think about what WE want.

Think about it, though - is that really what friendship is about?

Like any relationship, true friendship depends on mutual benefits, with the emphasis on the mutual. Sure we all have friends where the relationship is one-sided, but these are not the friends we call on when we really need someone, and vice-versa. They're also the least likely to be there when we need them!

The problem with being depressed is that sometimes a person is needy but not able to give back. If a friend calls and says she wants to see a movie but doesn't want to go alone, you might be tempted to say you're feeling down and don't feel like going out. Yet sometimes a time-out when you can go outside yourself for a while is just what you need to help you rise above the depression. Think about that the next time someone needs you.

If you're married or in a significant relationship, then there's one person who really needs your friendship - and whose friendship you really need!

Angeline M. Bishop has a great blog about how to create a best friend relationship with your partner, and her list of things you would look for in a best friend is really worth reading - and applying to yourself.

Click here to read her blog now at Angeline M Bishop Official Website.

Meanwhile, cherish your friends, especially those very close to you, and the light they bring into your life!

Being Unhappy Can Be The Trigger to Better Things...

Hello, friends - I've been away from the Talking About Depression blog for too long, exploring other life paths. I'm back now and hoping to get into regular blogging - those of you who know me know how close to my heart the issues of depression and other illnesses are.

One thing I did give a lot of thought to is the difference between simply being unhappy and real depression.

How often do we say :"I'm depressed....." - fill in your own blank. What are you 'depressed' about? That the cool guy at school didn't invite you to the prom? That the boss gave the promotion to someone else? It's Saturday night and everyone else seems to be out on the town and you're stuck home with only the Saturday Night Movie on tv to keep you company?

These things are not depression. Of course, they can signal situations that can trigger depression - loneliness, a sense of failure, a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy. Yet most of the time, the 'little' upsets in life pass - you find another cute guy to date, a better job comes up (or you realise that the promotion would have been too demanding) and your social life picks up. Often just making yourself think about the things that make you happy will lift the mood.

Depression simply isn't as easy to deal with as that. I'd describe a lot of the feelings I hear described as depression as, in fact, be simple human unhappiness. We're not intended to be on Cloud 9 all our lives - we need the occasional 'low' or unhappy moments to spur us into personal growth and change. Or, as my Grannie often used to say: "Into every life a little rain must fall.'

How can you bloom if you're deprived of rain? Being discontented or unhappy can force you out of your comfort zone and into a life where your achieving your potential.

Helped along by the advent of one-size fits all anti-depressants, we may have been brain-washed into thinking we should never be unhappy.

Think about this, though: Feeling unhappy can - and should - be a red flag in your life to make some changes. And I think it's fair to say that we're all unhappy sometimes.

But not necessarily depressed. Depression usually involves a feeling of helplessness, an inability to act, that keeps you stuck in this mire of feeling, well, awful.

And that's when you need help, to find your way out of the dark and into the sunshine again.

So, before you passively accept that you're 'depressed', take a close look at how you feel, the thoughts running through your head, your life in general.

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Do these suggest a need for change - either in behaviour, lifestyle or simply in the way you think?
Explore the possibilities, and see what you can do to bring about change - and happiness - in your life.

Good luck - and you're welcome to drop by and share your story here.